Choosing a Private School

The scenario that we are going to discuss is not as uncommon as you might think.

• After all, you have spent a considerable amount of time researching and visiting schools in a serious effort to find the school with the best fit.
• But a few months after school has begun, you realize that something isn't right. Your child is miserable.

Well, that's just one of the several reasons why you might want to change schools. Let's look at some other reasons.

1. Your child has been expelled.

Ouch! We will discuss this unfortunate reason for finding a new school first.

• This reason for changing schools is rather like being fired. It is enormously dispiriting and, in many ways, a life-changing experience, just like losing your job is.
• Continuing that analogy, finding a new school for a child who has been expelled is almost as difficult as finding a new job.
• Private school expulsions are covered by the contract that you and the school signed.
• The net result is the same and is a very serious situation.

You can expect to have lots of questions asked. So, have your answers well thought out. Do not equivocate.

• Try not to put too positive a spin on the situation. An admissions staffer will see right through that.
• Answer the questions truthfully. The school will want to know if your child has learned his lesson.
• Do not speak ill of his previous school. Nobody wants to admit

While you are in the early stages of identifying private high schools for your child, you will read plenty of catalogs and scan dozens of school websites. That will uncover a lot of information. Just be aware that all of this is the information that the schools want you to see. These are marketing tools that present the best side to the schools and their programs. While there is certainly nothing wrong with putting your best foot forward, the reality is that you need to lift the hood and see what's inside. Find answers to the following five basic questions as part of your due diligence as you sort through schools and begin to determine which one is the best fit for your child.

In 2026, school websites may also include virtual tours, student testimonials, social media content, and detailed digital course catalogs. These resources can be useful, but they should supplement, not replace, school visits, classroom observations, and direct conversations with teachers and administrators. Parents looking beyond promotional materials may find How to Assess a School’s Academic Quality Without Test Scores helpful.

Get the answers to your questions two ways: by reading the materials offered and by asking in person. Incidentally, if you have decided to use the services of an educational consultant, these are questions which she can answer for you. Then all you have to do is follow up when you visit the schools and affirm what you already know.

1. What are they

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It's certainly fun to navigate different private school sites and see what's out there. And you must do that, not only on your own but with your child. For all sorts of good reasons. Remember: your child needs to buy into this important decision. It mustn't be a unilateral decision unless the circumstances are exceptional such as your requiring a school for special needs or a therapeutic school. In those situations, obviously, you know best and will make the appropriate decision for your child.

There's another consideration we parents need to review carefully as we decide which private school is the best one for our children. And that's the cost. But don't just look at the price! Why? Because there are several factors in play when it comes to paying for a private school education.

1. Financial Aid

Depending on your financial situation the school may offer you a financial aid package. This could well have the effect of making that school that charges $25,000 a year as affordable, for example, as the school which charges $18,000 but offers no financial aid. So, ask questions and get the answers you need about financial aid. Financial aid programs vary from school to school. Assume nothing. Ask.

This video from the Parents' League of New York discusses financial aid for private school tuition.

2. Tuition-Free Education

The other factor to consider is that you may be able to

As you begin exploring schools for your child, you begin to realize that you have dozens of options. And they are all a little different. It's rather bewildering looking at all these websites, especially if you have never visited a private school before. They are all so different. How can you ever decide which one is best for your daughter? Start with a very basic strategy, a game plan, if you will. Let's look at what really matters when it comes to choosing a private school for your child.

Your requirements

Start with your requirements. Your requirements trump everything. So have a family discussion. Be relaxed and open-minded because your requirements as a parent will be different from your daughter's. You are thinking about the best educational experience. She's thinking about her life and her friends and the reality that she will have a whole new situation to deal with. That's scary for a young person. But you can make it an adventure and get her to buy into going to private school if you are patient, informative, and, above all, a listener. Dictating your child will probably get you nowhere in a hurry.

So, what's really important? Ponder these questions and then develop some answers after having that family discussion.

• Are you looking for a traditional college prep school experience or something else?
• Is your religion a major determining factor?
• What about sports? Arts programs? Extracurricular activities?

What about a school such as Midland School in

"How do they teach?" is a question that you need to ask as you evaluate schools on your shortlist. This question has been on your mind ever since you began considering sending your child to private school. While it certainly is relevant at almost any stage of the school selection process, it becomes critically important now that you are circling around those final few schools on your list. Be sure to have the question answered. You can do this by asking the admissions staff how the teaching is done at their school. They are accustomed to answering the question and will provide a detailed explanation for you. Furthermore, I do recommend that you ask the identical question at each school you visit. Then you will be able to compare apples to apples, having asked the same question at each school.

Whether you are looking at your options for preschool, primary school, middle school or high school, how the teachers teach is just as important as what they teach. As you review each school's curriculum, familiarize yourself with how that curriculum is taught. Make sure that everything matches your requirements and expectations.

Laying the Groundwork for an Education

Let's look at three areas of concern that we as parents have faced outside the classroom as we raised our children. From infancy, we have had control of what we are taught. We have shaped our child's thinking up to the point where she went off to preschool and kindergarten. In