Choosing a Private School

What follows is a fictional interview. I wrote it to illustrate why some parents chose a specific kind of high school education for their child. The account is fictional to the extent that the parents I am interviewing in this article do not exist per se. However, the scenarios, facts, and questions about private schools are ones that I have dealt with countless times over the years. They are real. Hopefully, you will find the answers in this interview both helpful and useful.

Helen, why did you consider sending your child to a boarding school?

My husband and I thought about sending our daughter to boarding school. Convincing her that boarding school would be the best option was a major challenge. However, with the help of our educational consultant and a couple of close friends whose children currently attend boarding school in Vermont, we were able to show her the incredible value a boarding school education offers.

What clinched the deal was the vast array of extracurricular activities which the schools we visited offered. We live in a very affluent area of Connecticut. The public schools are highly rated. But honestly, they offered fewer extracurricular activities than most of the boarding schools we reviewed. Our daughter is an avid swimmer and field hockey enthusiast. The athletic facilities and grounds at most of the schools we visited were superb. They contained state-of-the-art equipment with professional athletic staff supervising their programs. That was very reassuring to

Parents have many reasons for deciding to take their children out of public school and enrolling them in private school. This circumstance is something which can happen at any stage of your child's education. You could face this issue as early as nursery school or as late as high school, or even somewhere in between.

Recently I spoke with a mother who had taken her son out of a Montessori school and put him in the local public school. The problem with the Montessori school was the teacher. The public school worked fine for one year. Her child loved his new teacher, and the new teacher seemed to love her children. Ironically the public school teacher seemed to do a better job of following the child than the Montessori teacher did. Considering that following the child was one of Dr. Maria Montessori's principal tenets, you would have thought that the Montessori teacher could have gotten that right. In any case, his mother reported that they had one good year. Her son was happy. The teacher was happy. All was going well. Unfortunately, during the second year, things began to unravel, largely due to an inflexible teacher who expected all the children in her rather large class of 25 first graders to march in lockstep.

Against that backdrop, let's you and I explore a couple of typical scenarios where a change of schools just might be the only answer for your child.

Your child does not fit in.

Many parents search for an answer to the question "How do I provide the kind of religious education I want for my child?" Religious education is a very personal, subjective matter. When it comes to religious education one size most definitely does not fit all. Each of us has a very clear idea of what we expect. Much of our thinking is driven by the obvious reality that religious education is not an option in our public schools. Religion and Public Schools from the Center for Public Education explains the legal reasons why. So, with this requirement in mind let's explore your options.

Three Categories of Religious Schools

I have been in your shoes when it comes to deciding what kind of religious education our children should have. We are Episcopalians so we wanted schools which embraced that denomination's teachings. Kent School fit the bill for eldest daughter. Youngest daughter attended Westminster School which again fit our needs at the time. Our sons attended St. Anne's School in Nassau, Bahamas when we lived there. That was an Anglican school, Anglican being the British version of the Episcopal church.

To make things a little easier for you I have divided religious schools into three broad categories or strengths if you will: light, medium and strong. Essentially all I am doing is categorizing the intensity of the religious instruction and observances which schools in each category offer. Obviously there will be some overlap because private schools are

Myths, urban legends, and just plain misinformation abound concerning private schools. That doesn't help parents who are thinking about sending their children to private school. So, let's shed some light on the facts you may not have known about private schools.

1. Private schools existed before public schools.

That's right! Back in colonial times, education varied from colony to colony. The common thread that I was able to find is that education was stratified along class lines. Children from poor families were taught skills so that they could do a manual job and survive. Children from the upper classes received a basic education in literature, mathematics, and religion. If their families could afford it, the boys might be sent off to boarding school in England. This stratification of education persisted until the late 19th century.

This video looks at the beginnings of Colonial education: dame schools, Latin grammar schools, church schools, and pauper schools.

In those times upper-class girls were given enough education to be able to run a household. But amazingly enough colonial families did have daycare. They could leave their children at Dame schools, so-called because a dame or lady would teach their children the basics such as their letters and some prayers while she tended to her household chores.

2. Private schools are set up in three main ways.

Many parents assume that all private schools are set up in

A - Applying to private school

Applying to most private schools has become infinitely easier in the last 10-15 years. That's because you can apply online at most schools. When schools don't have online applications, they usually have all the application forms you need online so you can download them easily.

B - Be aware that diversity is an important part of private schools in the 21st century.

Yes, back in the 1950s and 1960s, you might have been able to say that private schools were elitist. At least, that was the general public's perception of private schools. This perception, of course, was reinforced by the media. In the 21st century, private schools have made diversity and tolerance the center of their mission and philosophy as most schools seek to prepare their students for life and work in a global community.

C - Competitive schools

Many parents have grand ideas about which private schools they want their children to attend. As a result, they focus on the top 10 schools, which receive 10 times as many applicants as they have places for. Having one very competitive school on your shortlist is smart when you also have two relatively safe schools on that list. Just as with investing, t makes no sense to put all your eggs in one basket.

This brief video showcases Phillips Andover Academy.

D - Discipline is part of the