Finding Schools

This article has been updated to reflect 2026 data and recent developments.

Are you thinking about sending your child off to private school? Then, you must decide which educational philosophy and approach work best for you. What it comes down to is whether you want to send your child to a school that uses a traditional approach to teaching or one that uses a non-traditional approach.

In the public school world, a traditional school is a regular public school, and a non-traditional school is a charter school. That's not what I am discussing here concerning private schools. The concept of a private school as a mainly independent, self-financing corporate entity does not change. You and I will focus on what is taught in the classroom and how it is prepared.

The early years

Your child's age is a significant factor in choosing an educational approach. For example, if you send him to a Montessori school as a toddler, you expose him to a non-traditional approach to education. It is an excellent approach and is highly regarded. But non-traditional nonetheless. Start your child off in a Montessori, Waldorf, or Reggio Emilia school, and you will lay a solid foundation for learning in later life. But visit a traditional private primary school, and you will see a quite different approach to early education. Private School Review's 5 Facts about Montessori, Waldorf & Reggio Emilia Schools offers more information about these educational approaches.

The apparent difference will be the

You've seen the articles in major publications such as Forbes and Chicago Magazine. "Top 10 Prep Schools" or "Best Private Schools in ____" These lists invariably contain the names of schools that are familiar. But are these schools the right ones for you? Let me explain why I believe that ranking private schools makes no sense for parents like us who are looking for the right school for our children.

A flawed premise

Ranking private schools is intrinsically flawed from the get-go. Why? Because each private school is a unique entity. The essence of being a private school is that it does its own thing. It accepts the students it wants to accept. It teaches the curriculum it wants to teach. It teaches that curriculum the way it wants to teach. Each private school has its own mission statement, philosophy, code of conduct, programs, and traditions. So how is it possible to compare apples to oranges? That is essentially what ranking private schools attempts to do.

For example, look at all the features of Shattuck-St. Mary's. Maybe another school has some of the same features. Maybe it doesn't. It is up to you to determine what you expect from a private school.

Yes, you can compare things like the number of AP courses, varsity sports, extracurricular activities, and so on. But you normally will make those comparisons when you

In 2000, choosing a private school was at a crossroads. Back then you had the traditional ways of finding schools and finding out more about them. You asked around. Personal recommendations from family and friends were an important starting point. Indeed, they still are. Then you contacted schools you knew about and requested a catalog or brochures. You could also buy a print directory of private schools, if indeed one was available. (I still have a vintage copy of The New York Times Guide to New York City Schools written by Grace and Fred Hechinger and published in 1968.) And you could always hire an educational consultant. Researching schools was fairly labor intensive. It also took time.

It is remarkable how all that has changed in just a few short years. First, schools adopted websites as their primary means of reaching families. Today, in 2026, nearly every private school uses its website as the central hub for admissions information, virtual tours, tuition details, curriculum guides, calendars, and application requirements. The transition from printed materials to digital media has transformed the way families research schools. As we now use the internet for everything from banking to healthcare appointments, researching private schools online has become the natural starting point for most families.

Knowing What to Look For and Where to Look

I think that the toughest

It's certainly fun to navigate different private school sites and see what's out there. And you must do that, not only on your own but with your child. For all sorts of good reasons. Remember: your child needs to buy into this important decision. It mustn't be a unilateral decision unless the circumstances are exceptional such as your requiring a school for special needs or a therapeutic school. In those situations, obviously, you know best and will make the appropriate decision for your child.

There's another consideration we parents need to review carefully as we decide which private school is the best one for our children. And that's the cost. But don't just look at the price! Why? Because there are several factors in play when it comes to paying for a private school education.

1. Financial Aid

Depending on your financial situation the school may offer you a financial aid package. This could well have the effect of making that school that charges $25,000 a year as affordable, for example, as the school which charges $18,000 but offers no financial aid. So, ask questions and get the answers you need about financial aid. Financial aid programs vary from school to school. Assume nothing. Ask.

This video from the Parents' League of New York discusses financial aid for private school tuition.

2. Tuition-Free Education

The other factor to consider is that you may be able to

Approximately twenty private schools are very competitive as far as admissions are concerned. Think of these schools as you think of the Ivy League colleges if you will. Everybody wants to go to these highly competitive private schools, just like everybody supposedly wants to go to Harvard or Princeton. Now, let's be very clear about something: these are great schools. Unfortunately, the harsh reality is that these schools receive many more applications than they have places for. The young men and women who do get into these top private schools are very talented, academically gifted, and so on. Should you be upset if your son or daughter doesn't get into one of these schools? Not at all, and here's why.

Fit trumps selectiveness.

The right school for your child is the one that suits your needs and his needs best. Fit trumps just about every other consideration. How do you get the fit right? You do that by actually visiting the school. It is always a good idea to visit schools while classes are in session. If at all possible, arrange an overnight when your child is considering a boarding school. Then your child can truly sample what the school offers, as this short video from Proctor Academy illustrates.

Now I can hear you thinking to yourself that the videos and the Zoom calls you had with the admissions office were so wonderful that the school