Getting Started

Deciding whether a private school is the right fit for your child comes with plenty of questions. How much does it cost? What benefits do private schools offer? How do financial aid and scholarships work? Parents deserve clear and reliable answers, and that’s exactly what this article provides. Whether you’re new to private education or looking for deeper insights, this FAQ guide will equip you with the knowledge you need.

One of our parental prerogatives is to worry about our children.

• That's because your child never came with an instruction manual.
• As a result, you have had to learn so many things about parenting simply by being a parent.
• No matter, worry is part of the parental landscape.
• If you are considering sending your child off to a private school, your worries will be pretty specific.
• Probably along the lines of the following questions.

*Many parents find the concept of sending a child to boarding school upsetting; a child's adolescence is such a distinctively affective period that entrusting it to others seems wrong. Yet boarding schools prosper, successors to institutions dating to medieval times. Source:* *Forbes.com*

Will my child be safe?

Private schools take your child's safety very seriously.

• Contractually a private school functions in loco parentis.
• This is a legal way of stating that the school acts in the place of the parent.
• When it comes to supervision of its students, the school looks after every student including

In this imaginary conversation based on actual questions I have answered over the years, a parent who is thinking about sending her four-year-old to a private school asks me various questions.

Why would I want to send my child to a private school?

We had several requirements when looking at private schools for our daughters. Small class size was a major requirement. The other was academic content. Our eldest daughter was one of the first students in a newly-opened parochial school. Her class had 12 students, which afforded her plenty of individual attention. The entire school population was less than 100 students.

We also were concerned about what she would be taught. She read above her grade level, enjoyed reading, and drawing. There were no video games, tablets, or cellphones to distract her in those days. Her teachers never held her back academically or intellectually. On the contrary, they built a strong foundation that strengthened learning in the primary grades.

What grade? Primary? High school?

Our daughters went to PK private schools. It was a happy experience for them and us because the schools were small and well-run. Then both girls had a few years in public schools in rural Northwestern Connecticut. We quickly discovered that those schools had terrific, experienced teachers with limited academic curricula. Consequently, we decided to send both girls off to boarding school. Their age difference of five years afforded us some relief from paying two tuition bills. And we weren't constantly driving them

What are private schools like anyway?

• Even if you're starting your private school research, there's a good chance you already have an impression of private schools.
• Perhaps you have read The Catcher in the Rye or A Separate Peace. Or maybe you saw Dead Poets Society or School Ties. These stories, while entertaining, offer a picture of private schools that is quite different from what you will find today.
• Just as universities and colleges in the United States have evolved in the past several decades, private schools have also evolved.
• Unfortunately, while the perception of private schools is changing, there are still some lingering myths.

Myth 1: You must be very wealthy to go to a private school.

Approximately a third of all private school students receive financial aid.

• Financial aid grants can represent a significant portion of tuition, depending on the school and your family's situation.
• Students now increasingly come from public schools and a wider range of family income levels.
• In general, boarding schools do their best to make their programs accessible to your family through financial aid grants, loan programs, and merit awards/scholarships.

In the past ten years, the emergence of K-12 private school loans has also made boarding school education more accessible.

• Today's families that send their kids to private school represent a broader demographic - geographically, socio-economically, and ethnically (see "Myth 2" below).
• However, what hasn't changed is the

We parents who send our children to private school have a lot in common.

• Most of us want our children to think critically, analyze information, and read widely.
• For example, Nancy and I wanted to stretch our girls academically. That's why we sent them off to private school.
• Those poor kids never stood a chance because my late wife read to her daughters almost from birth.

Nancy was a voracious reader. She read real books made out of paper, not books on an iPad or Kindle.

• She had earned an honors degree in French language and literature and Spanish language and literature.
• She attended private schools in New York City. Academic excellence was simply a given from her point of view.

I was passionate about music and made a career in church music as an organist and choir director.

• I mention these facts about us because I know your upbringing and educational experiences have shaped you and your views.
• Those will shape how you plan your child's schooling at every level.

Many of us also have public schools that are considered very good or excellent.

• In our case, we were fortunate to have excellent public schools.
• However, we didn't like the large class sizes and the limited curriculum that they offered.
• So those were among the reasons we started looking for other options for our girls' elementary and high school educations.

Here are seven cases that look at some of the reasons parents choose a private school education for their children.

Because you and I are not professional educational consultants with an intimate knowledge of private schools, we often waste time and make mistakes as we search for a private school for our children.

• For this article, we will be discussing private K-12 schools that do not focus on special requirements, such as therapeutic schools and schools for students with acute special needs.
• Read When Should You Consider A Therapeutic School? and When Should You Consider A Special Needs School? for suggestions about choosing those schools.

Here are some of the pitfalls you and I tend to encounter as we look at private schools.

• Only looking at ranks
• Thinking you can't afford it
• Waiting until the last minute to submit applications
• Thinking that schools are elitist
• Not visiting schools
• Not preparing adequately for the standardized admissions tests
• Not hiring an educational consultant

1. Only looking at ranks

I know what you're thinking. You want your daughter to attend a highly-rated school, the best school, a top-ranked school.

• Trust me. I get it. I wanted the same things for my daughters.
• However, here's the hard truth: rankings have very little to do with finding the best private school for your child.
• Find schools that fit your requirements and her needs as best as possible.
• You are looking for schools that fit her best. She will be happy there. You certainly don't want an unhappy child, do you?

2. Thinking you can't afford it

Yes, most private schools